Allow myself to introduce… myself… again

Hi!

You look amazing today!

If you are new to views from a pier, you are likely coming from the LTYM-RDU home page, thank you for stopping by! For those who have been around,  I am excited to announce that I am part of the 2015 Raleigh-Durham Listen To Your Mother cast! 

I am thrilled beyond compare to be part of a venue that cherishes storytelling and motherhood. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom and I have wanted to be a writer. 

So clearly, it is a dream come true to be able to share a story I have written about motherhood in the company of this 2015 cast. 

At this blog, I try to touch on faith, family, and occasional current events. I hope to make you smile and I often flirt with irreverence. 

I don't try to change minds but when I touch on political or hot button topics, I do try to start conversations. I love learning from other people's point of views and I hope to occasionally offer a new perspective. 

As a way of introducing myself to anyone new, I've pulled one from the archives to stick with the mothering theme.

I hope you enjoy, and I hope you check back often! :) 

Thanks, 

-mandy

LETTER TO A PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYER… From a skilled Mom. 

Today I dropped off my youngest child at preschool. He will only be away for about 5 hours total in any given week. But the moment I left the school I realized that for the first time in almost 8 years, there will be regularly scheduled times that I will be alone.  

Was I sad to leave my baby behind? Sure. But the overwhelming feeling was one that I had felt before... close to my college graduation. I had to answer a question I hadn’t even had time to ask myself in close to a decade... what am I going to do with my life?

So, knowing my resume-with an 8 year gap in employment- may be less than impressive, I took time to work on my cover letter. What do you think? 

Dear Prospective Employer, 

Though I may not have the advanced degree or computer acumen of many of my competitors. And, though I most likely require a more flexible schedule and more pay as well, I believe I have some unique skills that my co-applicants may not. 

For example, 

I can catch vomit in my bare hands and carry both it and a child 30 feet without spilling a drop.  

Why would this help you? What this illustrates is that I have come to a point in my life where I have close to zero self regard and remarkable problem solving skills. When an issue arises at the office, many may try to shy away. But I will run at the problem and carry that proverbial barf and your company’s good name to safety. 

Next, I have a keen sense of smell illustrated by the fact that I can detect accurately who hath ‘dealt it’ between at least four humans and two dogs. 

Again, you may ask, other than as a party trick, how does this help? Not only in midcheek expulsions, but in all parts of life I have learned to handle and assign culpability with tact and grace. No one wants to be the 'smelt it' tattle tale so to speak, but when someone is around that can spot and handle the guilty party, no matter the crime, with the noblest of ease, parties are more likely to hold themselves accountable and much office shenanigans cease before they can escalate.  

Last, I am virtually unflappable. I have literally been shit on while in the middle of a budgeting phone conversation and checking myself out at a grocery store. I did not stutter in word nor operation. Whatever crisis arise, I will stay calm, collected and dedicated. 

Though you may take pause at the year of my last official employment, I hope you will not forget that in addition to the skills I have already outlined, my ‘off the job’ training also made me proficient in multi-tasking, conflict resolution, and lego extraction. 

Oh, and apparently, my lips have taken on a Christ-like quality in that they can relieve suffering and take away the boo-boos.  Frankly, if you don’t want a Jesus lipped vomit catcher, I fear for the future of your company. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Warmest Regards, 

-M

The next time a baker turns down your business...

I got myself into a little bit of trouble recently.

shocker, I know.

I inserted myself into a conversation about the several states considering laws similar to the one Arizona recently vetoed regarding whether businesses may or may not refuse a customer on religious ground.

And though I agree with Governor Brewer vetoing Senate Bill 1062, I stated that I also disagreed with the supreme court ruling that a baker must bake a wedding cake for a gay couple though he is religiously opposed to gay marriage. In fact, the moment I read about the case of the 'cake nazi' so dubbed by many blog enthusiasts, I knew that if he loses his case, surely there will be a pushback.

The Arizona law and laws like it are precisely that pushback.  Where do the freedom and control of the customer end and the freedom and control of the business begin?   But these are things that have been debated ad nauseam so, instead of further blathering on about it, I'd just like to say what I wish had happened in the baker case.  

We're going to call the couple inquiring about the cake Joe & Joe so I don't have to determine which of them is talking in the following imaginary conversation, since it doesn't really matter.  The part of the baker will be played by 'Baker.'

Joe: Hi! You make beautiful cakes! We'd love to look at some options for our wedding.

Baker: Sure... wait, is it for you two?

Joe: Yes.

Baker: Well, gosh. Let me pray on it a moment.  Nope, I'm sorry, I can not make you a wedding cake.  I can make you any other kind of cake, just not a wedding one.  Can I interest you in a scone or a fruitcake? I mean, cupcake... sorry that just kind of slipped.

Joe: Well, I have to tell you, I'm real disappointed to hear that.  And though I'm sure your cupcakes are fabulous, we were here specifically for a wedding cake.  I can see you clearly have your convictions, but since I'm feeling kind of embarrassed and frustrated in front of my fiance here, I hope you'll do me the solid of hearing me out for just a moment.

Baker: well.. I'm not going to change my mind but go on ahead.

Joe:  Thanks.  You see, I'm a Christian as well.  And though I understand you may not accept my particular brand of Christianity, that's ok, you can probably guess that I have a hard time accepting yours.   You see, I've heard a lot of genuine concern regarding Sodom and God's destruction of the town and how that was pretty clearly related to Sodomy.  Except when I read the passage about Lot protecting the two visiting angels by saying, "please guys, don't rape the angels, I have two virgin daughters, I'll bring them out here for you... rape them, not the angels."  Well, I have a hard time thinking that consensual penis penetration was the real sin there... you know?  I kind of stumble over the raping of angels and a dad offering his daughters to a pack of rapists.

And I know there are some other places that condemn homosexuality... but there were a lot of rules on how to live back then in order to continue the species.  And they probably figured out that 'man laying with man as he does with woman' doesn't produce babies, so if populous is what they want, it makes sense to make heterosexual sex the law of the land for the time.

And also, Jesus kind of came along and said in his sermon on the mount to kind of toss what we thought we knew out the window and focus on loving one another and kindness.  At least that's what I took out of the 'love your neighbor as yourself,' thing.

Last, let's say that, as I've heard argued... you agree that 'being gay' isn't a sin, but 'having gay sex,' is a sin.  Well, from all I've heard from my married friends, your sex life diminishes rapidly after marriage so... shouldn't Christians trying to save us from ourselves encourage us to all marry one another?  If the anecdotal evidence holds up... as gay marriage increases, gay sex will decrease!

Really though, I want you to know that I love this man standing beside me fully, purely and truly. He makes me happy and he makes me a better man.  Joe and I can feel, bring and share more joy with this world together than we possibly could apart.  Couldn't this world use a little more joy?

I'm sorry you will not bake our cake as you are a beautiful artist which is what brought us here in the first place, but I respect your strong beliefs.

And I hope that you remember Joe and me and how we respected your right to run your business as you wish if you ever find yourself in the place of casting a vote determining whether you should determine how I run my life.

*respectful handshakes all around*